Are you dating (or trying to date) a boy that explains worldly things to you in the form of positional sporting plays? Does he have a dog named G.I and has recently decided to get Mitchell Johnson’s face tattooed on his bicep? Or maybe you are just one of those girls who gets caught out saying things like “how well did Cameron Smith, Simon Black and Adam Ashley-Cooper play in the One Day International on the weekend”? Never fear because the jocks in our office are here to help you get through those premiership weekends.
NRL (National Rugby League)
The sport that is spoon fed to all Queensland babies at birth. Regardless if you’re into sport or not, you definitely have a stance on whether you barrack for the Cockroaches or the Cane Toads. If he’s born above the boarder – tell him you have a Maroons jersey and mention how much you think Paul Gallen is a lemon. He’ll really appreciate that. Also, don’t say you like the Manly Sea Eagles, because there’s a good chance he hates them and we come to this assumption because EVERYONE HATES MANLY. Finally – when he says G.I, he’s not talking about how his pantry is filled with food that has low Glycaemic Index levels. He is in fact referring to Greg Inglis – God’s gift to rugby league.
ARU (Australian Rugby Union)
The game they play in heaven. Who “they” are, we’re not quite sure but it is one of the most played games in the world. The Wallaby’s aren’t just a native animal to our shores, they’re also a team of 15 who bare names such as Flanker, Fly Half and Scrum Half. They throw each other in the air for field position, all while calling plays like “Blue Ivy, 11, North West“. We know what you’re thinking and yes, this is a thing. The Bledisloe Cup is where we go up against our neighbours over the Tasman in three matches. It’s kind of a big deal. You’ll hear a lot of talk about whether or not Israel Folau has made a positive impact on the code and your man will probably continue with “he really did waste his time at the Giants”. Oh and just a tip for future conversation starters – mention how much the Wallaby’s have improved now that Ewen McKenzie has replaced Robbie Deans at the helm. Like seriously – who’s idea was it to make a Kiwi head of the Aussie team? It’s unnatural.
AFL (Australian Football League)
The oldest football code in the country, AFL has the largest fan base of any of our national sporting codes. Played on a round field, with a red ball known as a Sherrin – this code boasts names like Lance “Buddy” Franklin (boyfriend to model Jesinta Campbell, brother to Bianca Giteau, who is wife to Matt GIteau from opposite code rugby union. Soak it all in people), Chris Judd and Gary Ablett Jr. If he’s an Essendon fan, it’s probably best if you don’t mention the names James Hird, Jobe Watson and Steve Dank. There’s a good chance he’ll be stand off-ish, then depressed and then a mix of silent and embarrassed. This, girls is NOT what you want to achieve. If it’s Brownlow Medal week, sit down and watch it with him. The pre-award red carpet coverage is fabulous, with all sorts of floor-length gown goodness to drool over. Once the award ceremony starts you can just leave the room, because he probably didn’t realise you were sitting next to him anyway. One last thing – it’s called a mark, not a catch.
Cricket Australia (Formally known as the Australian Cricket Board)
We’ve got the Ashes, Big Bash League and Mitchell Johnson’s handle bars. You may have seen your man post copious amounts of Facebook statuses regarding Ryan Harris’ “first ball of the over” wicket, how shocked they were with Brad Haddin’s form with the bat and how Johnson’s facial hair was what really got him the Player of the Series this year. What will really get you excited is that cricket WAGS are some of the most glamorous in the business, with Aussie skipper Michael “Pup” Clarke’s wife Kyly Clarke leading the pack. (Google their wedding and see her amazing Alex Perry gown – to die!). However don’t mention Lara Bingle (as much as we LUURRVEEEE her). I think the cricket community are still recovering from the apparent “bad aura” she left in the team.
We know you might not be ready for all this jelly, but on the bright side – guys usually just follow one football code and the cricket. Stress less sisters, he’s going to love you regardless.
Love & Luck,
Team MB x